another 31st...

i wen to rp today to get my laptop wit vanz n her mum...
but before tat...
i met pras n lucky...
hehe...
missed em lots...
but yea...
din tok much wit pras...
onli had my lunch wit her cos she din come to rp...

i finally got my laptop today...
but i dun even feel hapi o excited abt it...
since the time i came home...
i din even take it out off the box...

after rp...
i wen to my grandparents place n saw kuhan...
gosh...
his wounds are terrible...
they jus moved me to tears...
i really dunno how foolish he was...
even my grandpa was crying to me cos of that idiot...arghh....

i was home ard 7 plus...
but since den...
i haven been myself...
i jus finished watching marley n me...
i can really cry watching it...
yet tats wat i chose to do...

its the 31st today...
a date tat i used to love...
but now i jus hate it so much...
its been three months since benji left...
n i'm starting to miss him more n more each day...
i so regret not looking after him properly....
i jus feel like holding him in my arms n crying...
i dunno why...
but i jus hate everyone n everything ard me...
call me a emo freak for all i care...
cant i just be left alone..?

the worst part of everything was finding out that maha's dae was rejected...
tsk...
there goes my last wish...