i'm s0 s0rry..!

sigh....
i really dunno wat the fuck is rong wit me..
i'm jus crazy...
one minute i'm so angry...another minute i'm ok...
y'dae i n guru were not really on good terms...
we were having a fite cos i said i wanted him to leave me...
n he was like why..u wana get to noe other guys izzit....
den we din tok....
he was angry..
but msging him sorry didnt help...
den he din call the whole day...
at nite i got a call from sangee's fone...
but it was guru on the line...
he neva asked me anything...
except for where is my sis....
i jus gave the fone to my sis...
tats abt it..

i spoke my hart out to nabs also...
certain things i've been hiding from everyone...
i jus told it to her last nite...
n nabs is always the supporting one....
n she understands me best...
she even told me tat wateva decision i take...
its gonna hurt me more than anyone else....

but after i spoke to her...
i manage to go to sleep so peacefully...
i din even w8 to tok to guru o anything...
by 12 i was already lying down...
n eventually fell asleep until my sis woke me up at 2....
my guy msged me at 1.30 telling me dat he was at a club...
n he hope tat i wont be angry...
i din bother replying...
i was jus wondering why he bothered msging...
shud have jus told me the next day dat he wen rite....
afterall who am i...?

den i slept thru till 9 in the morning...
wen i woke up...
my sis msg me tat she read all guru's msgs to me...
so i wen to read them...
he sen me msgs jus to make sure i was not angry...
n the final msg was to call him wen i woke up...
but i din bother...
i msged vicky telling him tat i dun wana meet...
but he was like no...
so i got ready n left my hse at 1 plus...
met him at clementi...n den wen to meet sam...
we were at bukit gombak till 4 plus...
halfway guru woke up n called....
he also wanted to meet...
i didnt wana c him...
but vicky dragged me dere...sigh...

wen i saw guru....
i din bother hugging him...
he called me towards him...but i was like you want you came near me...
he came n put his hands ard my waist...
n i was like i hate u...you are no one to me...so dun touch me....
den he sat next to me...
i removed the engraved ring from my finger n put it on the table...
but it accidently fell onto the floor...
so he tot i threw in down...
so i was like i can do anything...its mine...
n he was like den throw it dere la(near the grass patch)...
n i really did it....
after tat he got angry...
for abt an hour i din even look at him...
all i kept saying in my hart was i wanted back my RING back no mata wat...
den since it was windy...vicky needed to go somewhere else to light his stick...
so i secretly signalled to him to get back the ring for me somehow...
n yea...I GOT IT BACK....
why the hell did i vent my anger on the poor ring...
den vicky also removed his lip thingy...its wit me now...
the funny thing is...while sitting next to me...guru even msged me...
saying sry n wanted me to tok...but i jus cudn't...
den jivi came n we decided to walk to westmall...
guru told jivi to walk away wit vicky cos he wanted to tok to me...

he den pulled me to a wall n started asking me to tok...
but i cud onli smile wen i looked at him...
i dunno why...
i din even wana hug him for tat moment...
den he asked me...who am i to u...
i was like boyfren..
n he was like onli boyfren....n i was like ok...husband...
den he was like husband rite....can tell me everything rite...
den dere was a point where he was holding my neck so titely n asking me to tok...
but i really dunno wat came over me...
i told him to strangle me to death if tats wat he wanted...
a slap jus flew to my face...
in anger...my hand flew back...hehe..i'm sry abt it bee...din mean to...
aftertat i told him tat those five guys are no longer in my MSN acc...
n he was like i'll not tok abt them again....
i really fell like telling guru at that point of time...
i'm so scared to lose u i dunno why...
but i din...
he said sry abt the clubbing thing again...n i was like do wateva u wan...
its your life afterall...
n he was like you are my wife...hehe...
so things were finally beta....haiyo haiyo...
maybe i'm really over-sensitive...
but i seriously hate him clubbing....argghh...!

den guru wen up to his hse to change...
while i was sitting down n tokin to jivi...
tat gal mite be starting sch again...
her mum wants her to retake her o's...
den we went to the spec shop to get jivi her contact lenses...
n after tat i left to go toh guan...sigh...
i'm really tired..
i think i'm gonna turn in soon...
tats abt all for today...
gtg...byess:P