wen to visit rajesh's mother at NUH today with bunny...
she was fine y'dae wen we left her hse...
was really shocked to see her lying dere in NUH...
life is jus so damn unpredictable...
nieways..
guru came over later part...
but to his eyes i was invisible...
he jus walked straight n sat down...
n was also toking to bunny n rajesh...
i so badly wanted to leave...
seriously...
i dropped my ego n bothered calling him last nite...
if i din love him...
why bother duing tat..??
but did he even bother responding to it...??
i was too irritated to take the first step in toking to him today...
but nah...
in the end...
it was me who took the first move again...
despite toking my heart out...
he remained silent...
at the end...
he jus made me feel tat i wasted my time pouring everything out..
i'm stuck....
i pray to god...
to let guru be me for jus one day....
let him be in my shoes...
n i really wanna noe how he feels...
whether he'd like me contacting other guys...
toking with unknown ppl in the name of "entertainment"..
not giving much attention to whether he is oki with whoeva i mix ard with...
go out with everyone else except him...
n deres a way way longer list...
haix...
but even den...
will he understand me...??
i really doubt so...
no matawat...
guys will always be guys..i cant believe wateva i'm hearing now...its making me disgusted..yet i may be rong in doubting u...let me jus hear from u if its true o not...
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