sIck...sIck...sIck...

i really feeling so horrible...
having fever...
n a terrible throat...
arghh...
how nice if i can jus get admitted in the hospital o smth...
being at home jus makes me even more sick...
i feel as if i'm gonna faint...
i couldnt even walk to the shop downstairs...
n the worst part is...
i haven even eaten a proper meal...
god..
wat the fuck is rong with me...??

oh yea...
i spoke to maha last nite...
he shud be back by october...
i really miss him so much...
i miss esther n nabilah lots too...
hope to meet them soon...

i've been crying so much for the last 2 days...
but today was no exception...
i was lying down on my mothers lap after many years....
n my tears jus started pouring...
but i cant explain anything to her...
cos she understands me too much...
haix...i'm really confused if i really deserve all this at the end of the day..i'm tired....really very tired...cant u atleast understand me...??